A Travellerspoint blog

the luckiest man in the world

a comment from Paul

Comment from Paul. Since we got back, Lois's illness has progressed rapidly, and she is now preparing herself and her family for her last days. She has been very brave during this time, and has helped all of those around her to cope with her situation, providing comfort for them by ensuring she is OK with what is happening. Both Lois and I have no regrets about taking on the trip that we did. We knew the risks when we planned this, and had to curtail it early, but it has been fantastic, and we will remember this time for the good things that have happened despite Lois's problems.

Doctor Hamilton (Lois's Oncologist) commented early on when we discussed our trip with him that there are two sorts of reaction people have when told they have a terminal illness. Those that shut the garden gate, go indoors and are never seen again. And those that open the garden gate, run down the lane and make the most of what time they have left. Lois decided to do the latter, and it has been a fantastic, wonderful trip and it has been a privelage for me to fortunate enough to meet, marry and accompany Lois along this journey.

As her Kiwi Oncologist, the lovely Maria Pearse at Auckland City Hospital said "Lois is an inspiration to everyone and a truly wonderfull person" It has been tough at times...having to carry Lois in and out of her wheelchair when she first lost use of her legs, but to see the joy on her face each time we carried her into a hotpool, or took her far a walk inthe podocarp forests made it all worth while. I would encourage anyone who is faced with a challenge such as we have had, to do exactly what lois has done, accept it as a fact of life and make the msot of your time.

Throughout the last 9 months, Lois has kept her sense of humour, zest for life, inspired and enhused others around her.

I am the luckiest man in the world to have been chosen by Lois to be her soul mate, partner, husband and best friend


Posted by ackers888 14:55 Archived in United Kingdom Tagged round_the_world Comments (2)

Home Sweet Home

A blog by Lois

Just in time..we finally made it back to the UK on 6th February. We were just in the nick of time as I immediately lost the ability to walk and have had to re-arrange my care requirements. I now have a lovely new toilet facility, a great new bed that keeps me snug and allows Lesley and Paul to move me without hurting their backs. The best toy is the electric hoist that my lovely brother Luke installed. It is attached to the ceiling and has a track that allows me to be hoisted from the bed to my wheelchair and back again with ease. This measn I can still get from my bed to the shower without any bother, a real morale booster. Luke is so clever with all these things. He has also got me a mobile hoist and we have been discussing how it can get me in and out of the hot tub, as Lesley would say "we'll give it a crack Nigel!" (editor comment - this is now not possible due to Lois's illness moving on).

Posted by ackers888 14:35 Archived in United Kingdom Tagged round_the_world Comments (2)

Some belated pictures from the New Zealand leg

with a few descriptions

sunny 25 °C













Posted by ackers888 14:29 Archived in New Zealand Tagged family_travel Comments (0)

Lois and Wish You Were Here

She has such a beautiful voice

sunny 23 °C

Posted by ackers888 05:48 Archived in Turkey Tagged family_travel Comments (0)

Wake - Blog By Lois

The Benefits of a pre-death wake!

-17 °C


Most families gather after death to say goodbye to a loved one at a wake. They may have questions they wish they had asked and things that should have been said to clear the air or share an event that the loved one may not have even been aware had been there. In this situation all of this can be put to bed, and it can be a bit more fun.

Tom, Dick and Harry..... Paul and Lesley were here (At the Spire hospital) on Saturday and Paul asked if there was anything he needed to know to prepare for after my cremation. He knew I wanted to be scattered at Mottisfont Abbey (where we got married) in the Rose garden or lime walk. Then I said, through my drowsiness, "you do know about Tom, Dick and Harry don't you?" Lesley looked at Paul, and he looked back in confusion. I was now very lucid from being at deaths door so I started describing the little sacks attached to everyone with a drawstring at the bottom. Lesley had a brain wave, "she want's to be scattered with her gerbils", Paul replied .."but we haven't got gerbils called Tom, Dick or Harry" Confusion reigned as I drifted in and out of sleep. I said "you know, like in The Great Escape, the three tunnels, when they scattered the dirt using bags from the tunnels in the mens trousers", "if Mottisfont don't let you scatter my ashes officially, the men could sneak around secretly dropping my ashes amongst the roses, or on the lime walk using the same method. Nobody will be any the wiser. And afterwards you can all go to Annie's tea rooms for tea and cakes, I'm happy with that" Paul and Lesley were creased up with laughter for the next 5 minutes.... The talking with the roses at Barry's funeral was nice, i'd like that to happen, but with Gerberas instead. If anyone wants to say anything at the cremation they can hold a gerbera and say a few words for me. I thought of doing it with sunflowers, the theme for our wedding, but they'd be too big and out of season. I want everyone gathered round me informally, not sat in their seats when it happens.

Anyway, enough of that, I would recommend a waking wake. It has taken a huge weight off my mind and hopefully all my immediate family. They are now all supporting each other at this difficult time on both sides of the family and we are moving as one unit as it should be.

Posted by ackers888 02:31 Comments (0)

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